Tackling the Body of the Email

If you used last week’s newsletter to craft an eye-catching subject line and managed to have them open the email, the battle is still only half over – you need them to read the email and respond. The body of your email needs to explain why your startup fits the VC’s investment strategy and why they should continue the conversation with you. This is the hardest part.

When thinking about the body, treat it as an elevator pitch. It must be short, crisp, and include only the most important details. Long emails take too much time to read and will likely be ignored. Some suggestions are:

1. Avoid the generic “Hi!” or “Dear Sir/Ma’am.” Always greet them by their first name when possible, and if you have no name, default to “Hi XXXXX Team!”
2. Start your email off with a personal note. This can either be a personal connection with the VC, the partners, or their investment thesis. The more personal the intro, the more likely an investor will read the rest of the email. Create a connection between your company and the VC you are pitching. Every VC has different mandates and items they focus on when investing. You should research EVERY firm so you can articulate in your email exactly why your startup specifically fits within their investment criteria. Oh, and it should be only one sentence. KEEP IT BRIEF!
3. Explain in 2 sentences what your company does in simple language. A good trick to make this section effective is to write down your best description and give it to 5 people who know nothing about your company and ask them what you do and how easy it was to read. Most founders will be surprised by how difficult this task is, and you should expect 3 – 4 iterations before you have the right formulation.
4. Prove to the VC that your startup is venture-backable and is ready for VC money. This should be supported with the most relevant traction metrics. Don’t worry about all the numbers; provide enough to create an interest to meet with you. Keep this to 2-4 bullets that are 4-8 words each.
5. Make it easy to book a meeting or reply with an answer. Offer a few time slots that work, or include a scheduling link for your full calendar. For many founders Zoom will likely be the best option, but when possible founders should offer in-person meetings instead.
6. Finally, include a closing that is warm and inviting, such as “looking forward to speaking”. Avoid using neutral closings such as “sincerely”. After your name, you should include your position at the startup and the most relevant social media links (not all if there are many).
7. Don't forget to attach your deck via a link or attached PDF. NEVER link a PowerPoint or Google Slides, VCs don't want to edit your deck. 

Now that the draft is ready, make sure to review it and have an advisor review it as well. Mistakes in cold emails show a lack of attention to detail and a lack of care.
A few other pointers to keep in mind:

• Write with basic language. Studies show that emails written with easier language (about 3rd grade level) are responded to much more frequently. This means shorter sentences and avoiding complex jargon (especially since most VCs are not experts in your field).
• Keep the email short. Emails around the 50-125 word count tend to have the highest response rate. However, this needs to be balanced with ensuring all the important details are conveyed.
• Make the email easy and fast to read. Use bullet points whenever possible since it helps for quick skimming.
• Make sure the email is being sent by the CEO or Founder. No one else on the team should be doing early-stage fundraising. 
• Don’t include any images or links in the body of the email. It makes the email messy and difficult to read.

If you are looking for help crafting these cold emails book a coaching session here with Jason Kirby.

Fundraising Demystified Episode #16 is Live!

In this episode, we interview Quaid Walker, an ex-Googler and first-time founder, who shares how he and his team achieved remarkable success in luxury watches. Their passion for watches and unwavering commitment to quality has led to a groundbreaking milestone of raising $8M in funding for their company, Bezel.

Here are three key takeaways from this episode:

1. Look beyond the capital: Raising capital is essential, but it’s not the only thing that matters. It’s important to look for investors who can bring more than just money. He advises entrepreneurs to look for investors who can provide strategic guidance, industry expertise, and access to their network.
2. Get your investors to be your customers: According to him, one of the invaluable lessons that his team has learned in their fundraising journey was getting their investors to use their product or service. Once they get a taste of what you envision, it will be easier to get them to invest in what you do. It can also be a powerful way to build credibility and attract new customers.
3. Persistence pays off: He shares how the fundraising journey is filled with both "no's" and "yes's." It's important to stay resilient and keep pushing forward, even when faced with rejection. Quaid emphasized the importance of having as many meetings as possible and meeting as many great people as you can. You never know who might be a valuable connection or investor. Listen Here

Jason has already roasted 20+ decks during this weekly event. We have received incredible feedback from founders who had their decks roasted or just came to watch.

Click the link below to submit your deck to receive feedback on how a VC would look at it. This is a RARE opportunity, so don't miss your chance! RSVP HERE

What the Experts Have to Say

How to write a top 1% cold email to VCs

One of the best articles on how to write a cold email to VCs with examples and tips that will make your emails exceptional. Read More

The Art of a Cold Email to a Venture Capitalist

Article with many examples of what you should and should not do when writing a subject line and another part of a cold email.  Read More

How to Cold Email an Investor
If you need more examples of good cold email templates, this article is for you. It also contains some incredible advice for writing emails. Read More

If you're ready to raise capital, accelerate your fundraising process by upgrading to Premium. All premium clients receive a complementary consulting session with Jason Kirby, Managing Partner at Thunder. Upgrade Now

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Written by Jason Kirby - https://www.linkedin.com/in/jasonrkirby
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